Rainbows and Marshmallows

Do you want to hear something gross?  This is invariably the start of my conversations about work, and almost always seem to happen at the dinner table.  It's not my fault that that's when my largest audience congregates.  And whatever response I get to that question, I always tell my story.  Like when I got mucous in my eye.  Or poop on my head.  Or pee on my shoes. Fun stories like that.  But finally my brother could stand it no longer.  "If you're going to talk about poop all the time, can you at least call it something else, like, I don't know, rainbows or marshmallows?"

So one time I stepped in a pile of rainbows that had slid off the edge of a patient's bed.  And then got marshmallows all over my shoes when someone missed the commode.  He's right, that does sound better.